Ups and Downs

Healing Hormones!

It has been over two years since I had my diagnoses and I have learned a lot.  There are so many things that can happen to your body besides the cancer growing.  I've had high calcium, anima and now I have low platelets.

I've been asked time and time again to wright an advance directive but it seems like self defeating behavior.  But it would probably be wise for everyone to make one.  We never know what could happen and I for one would like to make my own decisions!  It's also good to know what the rules are where you live.  For example in California EMT's must give all aid.  Your advance directive is not in force until you reach the hospital.

Family Trip

I planed a short trip to visit family and just as the time came to go my platelets decided to drop into the critical range.  I was down to 18,000 per microliter of blood.  My doctor said I couldn't travel and would need transfusions every other day.    The drive I was taking had about 5 hours of nothing but desert.  No hospitals or help anywhere and if my platelets dropped below 10,000 I could hemorrhage.  It was only for 6 days and I felt that if I could get through the desert I should be able to go.  I felt fine except for all the bruising and spots.  Yes right now I have spots.

So what are Platelets and what do they do!

“Platelets are the cells that circulate within our blood and bind together when they recognize damaged blood vessels,” says Dr. Marlene Williams, Assistant Professor of Medicine and CICU Director for Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center. “When you get a cut, for example, the platelets bind to the site of the damaged vessel, thereby causing a blood clot. There’s an evolutionary reason why they’re there. It’s to stop us from bleeding.”

A normal platelet count ranges from 150,000 to 450,000 platelets per microliter of blood. Having more than 450,000 platelets is a condition called thrombocytosis; having less than 150,000 is known as thrombocytopenia. You get your platelet number from a routine blood test called a complete blood count (CBC).

When you don’t have enough platelets, it’s called thrombocytopenia. Symptoms include easy bruising, and frequent bleeding from the gums, nose, or GI tract. Your platelet count drops when something is preventing your body from producing platelets.

Dr. Marlene Williams, CICU
Director for Johns Hopkins
Bayview Medical Center

So why the low platelet count?

I'm not sure.  My bone marrow may not be making enough or they may be dieing off too quickly.

There are a wide range of causes, including:
Medications
An inherited condition
Certain types of cancer, such as leukemia or lymphoma
Chemotherapy treatment for cancer
Kidney infection or dysfunction
Too much alcohol

I'm told that there is no way to fix it by diet or anything under my control but online I have found lots of tips and am trying them all.  Here are some good ones!  And I think these are just good things for everyone to do!

1- Consume the correct types of food. Try to eat fresh fruits and vegetables, and organic options are better for you and your platelet count. Berries, green leafy vegetables, oranges, tomatoes and kiwis can help increase your platelet levels.

Stay away from specific unhealthy foods. These foods include processed foods, refined sugars, and junk food. Also stay away from alcohol and caffeinated beverages. Partaking in these foods and drinks can cause your platelet count to drop even further because they may hamper production by the bone marrow.

2- Ingest foods that contain omega-3 fatty acid. Examples of these types of food include fish, free-range eggs, flax seed oil, tuna, and wild salmon. Omega-3 fatty acid foods boost your immune system and can naturally increase your platelet level count.

3- Ingest vitamin and mineral supplements. This is an ideal option if you don't care for specific fruits or vegetables.
Take 1,000 IU of vitamin C daily. This vitamin is water soluble, so it is absorbed into the body immediately. This supplement works to strengthen your immune system and can boost your platelet count naturally.
Drink bitter extract from papaya leaves. Purchase 2 leaves, mash them with a mortar, and drink the extract. Two leaves should yield 2 tbsp. of extract.

4- Drink warm-temperature water. Cold water can slow down your digestive tract, which can impact your body's way to absorb nutrients. Blood cells are made of water and protein, so if you drink more water, you will produce more blood cells.

5- Obtain enough sleep and rest. Try to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night. The rest can help your body to recharge and produce more platelets.

6- Exercise. Perform strength-training exercises and cardiovascular workouts to help the blood flow within your body. These exercises can increase your body's immune system. Avoid contact sports because injuries can result in bleeding.

It looked like a no go on my trip.

Platelets don't last long so It's transfusions about every other day.  It looked like I would not be able to go.  Even if I made it across the desert I would be in the ER every other day-so half of my trip.  My sister got on the phone and called some friends with cancer.  Then she called their oncologist and he said he would help.  Dr. Wallintine was willing to order labs and then talk to my doctor and set up platelet infusions at the hospital for me.  His nurse Kathy was very helpful to get my doctor on board.  The trip was a go again!  I received a platelet transfusion on Friday which would last trough the desert. I made it and some of my best family visits were in the infusion center.  It did mean that the trip was different but it was still good.  

Whats next for me?

There is a lot to think about.  My doctor who would never think of fighting the cancer is putting out things like chemo and radiation.  I know there will be tests.  A bone marrow biopsy to see if we can figure out what is causing the low platelets. She also put me on a steroid.  Not sure how that is supposed to work as it can cause low platelets but it was one of the stipulations for the trip.  Unless there is some other kind of cancer or diagnosis for the platelet loss, I am not a candidate for a bone marrow transplant.  Breast cancer is not treated that way.

Radical Remission quote!

"When we feel loved and cared for by others, the rush of healing hormones released by the master glands in our brain affects our bodies in such a way that our immune systems suddenly have renewed energy to repair cells, clear out toxins, and most important, remove cancer cells."
quote from #RadicalRemission

This is what I got out of my short trip! A rush of healing hormones! I'm so glad I got to go and even if I didn't see all my friends, I think my family got some healing hormones as well as me!

Choosing Life!

Hi Everyone!

Climbing Pinnacles

This week a women I went to High School with killed herself.  She was a grade behind me.  She had grown up changed her name and by all accounts made something of herself.  She was a little bit famous so her death was all over the news.  I didn't know her well but I can't help but reflect on her life and death.  What makes someone who seems to have everything lose hope?  We were raised in the same church and had a similar childhood.  We were taught faith and turning to God in times of trouble.  She had a family that loved her- maybe they didn't like all her choices in life, (who has parents that do?) but they loved her.  If the reports are accurate she had a companion and friends that loved her.  Now I know some people suffer from depression and I could speculate about her, but I won't.  It just leaves lots of unanswered questions in my mind.  I'm in the fight of my life!  Sometimes I have been in so much pain that I felt I wasn't living.  But I fight on, with everything I have!  I want to see my kids grow up!  I want to hold my grand kids someday-if they give me some, lol.  I want to go to the beach, sit in the sun, ride my bike, hike, travel, play in the snow and do everything life offers me!  I want to make new friends and catch up with old ones.  I want to clime Pinnacles!  One of my "BIG" dreams but I haven't climbed for oh, 19 years, so I will have to get in shape for that!

Pinnacles National Monument, California

Update On Me

It's been a crazy few months for me!  I've learned a lot as I've gone through ups and downs of fighting cancer.

Did you know you can have two much calcium?  I didn't but now I know.

This year has been hard on my health.  But this last few months has been the hardest.  I have had to swallow my pride-and yes I was prideful.  I didn't know I was but being put in a position where you can't do basic things lets you see your pride as you swallow hard.   I had to let the sisters from church and neighbors (all of whom I consider friends) bring in meals and drive the kids everywhere.  I couldn't clean house or cook or anything.  I am down to 112 lbs.  I have had 4 blood transfusions since Christmas and my calcium level in my blood got so high that I was in the E.R. because they thought I would go into a coma or die.  I have been in and out of the ER and could tell you which ones are best to visit.  I had to go to the IV center for fluids everyday and they gave me an IV drug that caused me to have depression and extreme pain for over a month.  In fact I still have some pain and my doctor said that it can last for several months.  So we are trying to find a good pain regimen for me to be on.  I may even go for some needles in my back, ha ha.

My doctor told me that the high calcium levels meant I didn't have much time left.  We did lots of tests.  After my ultra sound the doctor said there was cancer in my liver and my spleen.  When you are under the effects of a treatment that causes depression, that is not a good thing to tell someone.  That day I let everyone have it.  I was on heavy pain medication that was effecting my liver and made me very loopy.  

I couldn't take asking for more help so I told the kids "That's it!  We are not going to school for the week!"  When I was a kid I would have been thrilled if my mother said that, but not my kidos- didn't I know what they would be missing!  I had a revolt on my hands and was not prepared physically or emotionally to fight them.  Just after I had my rant (like 5 min.) a friend  from Church called and said "We will be taking your kids to school and we will be bringing in meals, just give us the schedule   She was having no nonsense from me!  It was perfect timing-how could she know the state I was in?  Several women gave the girls their phone numbers and said call us if you need anything.  And believe me my kids did!  If they thought I was not getting back from the IV center fast enough-a call was made and someone came!  I would pull up as my kid drove away.  They took everything out of my hands so I could rest and heal.  It was the ministering of Angles!  I am very blest and have felt such an outpouring of Christlike love and service.  My family will never forget!  My husbands co-workers stepped up and told him whatever time you need, whatever you need!  They were and are wonderful!

More tests were needed to confirm the ultra-sound results.  And I began looking for other guidance  I started to go to an alternative doctor and follow his advice along with my other doctors.  It has been very helpful and he is in the area.  Makes life easier.  Then we had a pet scan.  It's the most accurate cancer test you can get but also the most radiation in a test.   I had to wait 3 weeks for the results.  It was a long 3 weeks, but I felt that if it was really bad and anything could be done they would call me.

I finally got the results of the test on a Monday morning.  My doctor was very surprised!  There was no cancer in my liver or spleen.  The original cancer had grown but by very little.  I have two new spots one on the spine and one on a rib.  The doctor thinks that the drug she gave me most likely got rid of them.  I have an increased uptake in my bone marrow.  That can be caused by the anemia or cancer in the bone marrow.  The only way to tell is with a bone marrow biopsy.  It would not change my treatment options so I'm not going to go through the pain, time and expense to have one.  For some reason when you have cancer the primary place it starts in determines the treatment.  Some new studies have shown that the cancer changes as it moves through your body.  But for now breast cancer is breast cancer even if it has become bone marrow cancer.  So I will never be a candidate for a bone marrow transplant even if it could turn my cancer around. I'm also stage 4 so the traditional oncologist believes I am un-savable,  they can only slow the cancer down and give me more time.  

My labs have normalized except for my liver and my platelet count.  I have to work on that.  I do have high cancer markers but that's normal for me (they have dropped a little as well)  The way I have been feeling doesn't fit with the results.  But for a small amount of people the effects of the drug (zometa) can last for months and I'm in that number.  The doctor wanted me to go in monthly to have an IV of the zometa.  But my calcium levels have normalized and unless they go up again I will avoid the zometa.  It may have saved my life but after the drug I was a mess and I was not living for over a month.  And like I said before, I still have side effects from it.

We are working on setting up a good pain management system.   Hopefully I will not need it long term.  I also have a new exercise routine to build my strength back-so I can eventually get back to my yoga.  I'm planing a few short trips to began and end the summer but my big goal is to work on building my strength over the summer and not worrying about company coming or vacations.  Then by the fall I hope to be my old self again!

These test results are a miracle! An answer  to all of the prayers and faith that have been offered.  It is the best case that could be!  I have been very blest.  Thank you for all the prayers.  Of course I don't know what the future will bring and I know I must keep up the fight, faith, listening to the spirit and working on my health.

Good Reads

I don't know what health or other struggles you or your loved ones may be going through but I would like to suggest some good reads.  I think these books are good for everyone.

The first is a book written by researcher Dr. Kelly Turner.  I have talked about her work before.   Now I know her book is about cancer but I think it could be applied to other health issues and is just good information.  The book and research started out being called "Unexpected Remissions" but was later changed to "Radical Remissions"  Doctors call them unexpected because these individuals like me are expected to die from cancer.  It was found that they all were doing 9 things-that's where the radical comes from!  The book just came out and here is a link to the trailer, enjoy!

Hear all about "Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds," Dr. Kelly Turner's new book which goes on sale on March 18th, 2014 
Book Trailer-"Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer against all odds"

This book I think is one of the best guidelines for fighting cancer out there.  

The other book is called "Hope Beyond Reason" by Dave Hess."  A good friend of mine who is going through much of the same struggle as me, sent me a copy.  It is short and easy to read but it's like a textbook in a way.  He asks a questions and gives you room in the book to journal your feelings about it.   If you journal in it you will get the most out of it but it will take you more time to get to the end.

Dave Hess is a Pastor so if you don't want a lot of Scripture the book will not be for you.  Being a christen I would say it is a wonderful book for anyone going through any kind of struggle, christen or not.  On the cover it said "Embraced by God's Presence in the Toughest of Times".  It just so happens that Dave had cancer and that was his struggle.  By doctors accounts he should not be here today, but he is!  I was blest to receive this gift while I was going through my last big struggle.  It is inspiring, thought provoking and gives me hope.  We are not left alone even if at times we feel alone.

Well that is an update on me.  I hope that whatever challenges you may be going through you will remember that life is worth the fight!  There is always a brighter day on the way and sometimes our struggles leave us in a better place to help and understand others. 

Choose Life!

Jean

I'm Still Here Living and Loving Life

Yes, I'm still here!

Me, four of five sisters, Bitter Blue (the dog) and my son Ashton.  We are saying Good-by to Ashton as he leaves to spend two years in Japan on a mission.
October 9, 2013

I know its been a while and I have no excuse.  So I will catch you up with the last few months.  I am quite ashamed that I haven't blogged in so long.  I lost a friend and fellow cancer blogger.  She not only blogged from her hospital bed she blogged after her death.  Her blogs are inspiring and up lifting.  If you want a good read you can find her blog at "My Unexpected Path" .

Pleurisy and Pain

In February I got the flu and things went down hill from there. I developed pleurisy which no one seemed to be able to diagnose. I had to travel to a cancer center in Arizona in order to be properly diagnosed. Pleurisy which sometimes happens to breast cancer patients "is an inflammation of the pleura, which is the moist, double-layered membrane that surrounds the lungs and lines the rib cage. The condition can make breathing extremely painful. Sometimes it is associated with another condition called pleural effusion, in which excess fluid fills the area between the membrane's layers."(Web M.D.)


I had fluid build up and that cased my ribs to bruise and difficulty breathing.  I was in extreme pain.   I couldn't walk downstairs in my home without stopping to rest and catch my breath.   I was prescribed pain medication but it didn't touch the pain.  Finally my pain reached the unbearable point.  I was able to see someone who was a pain expert and told me the medication I was taking was like giving me M&Ms. He prescribed morphine with another strong medication for break out pain.  Yes, I was "drugged!"

Anemia

Then my hemoglobin dropped and I started to develop bruises all over my body. I was told by a nurse to go immediately to the hospital. She said she would not let me off the phone until I committed to go.  I told her I would, but as soon as I was off the phone I went to bed.  The next day the cancer center canceled my appointment and told me I must go to the hospital before they would allow me to travel to see them.  I guess I'm a little stubborn, so with that threat I got in my car and drove myself to the hospital thinking it was silly and I should just go to bed since I felt tired. The next thing I knew I was being admitted to the hospital and receiving a blood transfusion.  I was and still am anemic. The transfusion saved my life.  A big Thank you for those who donate blood!


So what are the causes of anemia and what caused mine?  That has been a big question for me.  It can be hard to find a cause as there are over 400 types of anemia.  One of the most common is vitamin deficiency such as iron or B12.  It can also be blood loss from something like an ulcer or faulty red blood cells.   I have very high levels of the vitamins I need.  After a scope and colonoscopy we found no bleeding.  So what is it?   After lots of tests over the last several months, we have finally established what is wrong with my hemoglobin.  My bones are producing a large amount of red blood cells but my liver is not producing the proper amount of the binding agent (hepcidin) that binds the iron to the red blood cells.  Therefore, I am not getting the oxygen distributed in my body and my red blood cells are not maturing.

Iron, like sugar, feeds cancer.  So there is some thought that my body may be trying to protect itself by lowering the ability of the iron to get to the cancer cells.  It's just my oncologist's theory.

Anyway, I had weekly blood tests to see if I needed a transfusion. Thankfully, although my hemoglobin is low, it has been staying steady so I am now on the once a month blood test schedule.

I also stopped my pain medication and ended up in the hospital.  I had to learn how to manage my pain. They wanted me to be on a constant dose of morphine.  I again went off the pain medication, but now I know to take some when my pain level reaches a 5 or 6 out of 10 points so I don't end up in the hospital.  That was no fun.

The Doctors in Arizona

Going to the clinic in Arizona was an experience.  The people were very nice but it was cancer all the time.  I was at my wits end and losing weight at an alarming rate.  Sometimes as much as 5lbs in a week.  I had been throwing up daily and eating very little.  The silver lining is the weight loss.  I am happy about how I look.

The doctors ran all the usual tests and then a group of them (I think 5) met with me and my husband.  They started off informing us that there is no cure for me and anyone that says otherwise is lying.  They then told my husband that the window of opportunity for me was closing, that it was a matter of more time or less time.  If I didn't do what they wanted then it would be less time until my death.  Suddenly, I had not only the doctors but my husband urging me to take and do the things I was against.  It was a lonely place to sit.  I could see how hard it was on my husband so I gave in a little and said I would try their way for 3 months.  This would give me a good idea of their method.

Loss of Supplements

The next thing I knew I was being told I had to quit taking most of my supplements in order to take the drug tamoxifen.  On the tamoxifen I continued to lose wait and be very sick.  In fact on the tamoxifen I was sicker.  My cancer markers did go down but I was not living.  I feel like I missed the whole summer.  It bothered me to see my friends take their children to the beach, hiking and many activities while mine watched me lay in bed.  I had had it!  I told my family that quality of life is more important and that I wanted to live, not lay in bed!

I didn't make it to 3 months.  I was off the tamoxifen, but I did discover some mushroom extracts and other herbs that have helped.  I rarely need pain medication.  I'll try to blog about them after Christmas.

Live, Love and Fully Participate In Today!

Right now I am doing much better.  I'm not sick and love the weight loss.  I'm still anemic and have a low platelet count but I'm working on that.  I have been able to spend quality time with my family.  I have more energy, but I am trying to get my children to be more independent.  I think it is good for them to know that they don't have to rely on me--that they are strong and capable.  I plan on being here for the long term, but don't we all want our children to know that they can take care of themselves and accomplish anything they set their mind too?

I love this healing story out of Healing Journeys November Newsletter.  Stephanie Sugars has been living her last days for 22 years!    8000 Last Days by Stephanie Sugars.

My Vow!

One thing I vow to do different than Stephanie Sugars is to not think of my days as "Last Days"  each day is a new day, a beautiful day in a very blessed life!  Very few of us know what day will be our "Last Day" so I say live, love and fully participate in this day!  The day you are living in right now.  Remember the good times and plan for some more but live right now because this is where you are!

The Phoenix Rises From The Ashes! Well Almost.

I felt like the Phoenix that rises from the ashes!  I came down with the flu the day after the yard sale and unlike most flu bugs I couldn't shake this one.  My family took turns being sick and this flu seemed to come and go.  Each child must have had it 2 or 3 times.  Soon my family was well but I continued to run a low-grade fever, have nausea and headaches.  I decided that in order to care for my family I had to take pain meds.  I have really tried to not take any extra medications.  After 4 weeks I decided that maybe if I act like I'm well I will be well and I went to yoga class.  I became nausea and dizzy.  I had to lay on my mat so that I wouldn't be sick.  The poor guy next to me was new and it seemed to give him permission to stop and lie down as well.  After I came home I spent the rest of the day in bed with a horrible migraine.  

My family all claimed there health back but I continued to suffer.  I chose not to get my labs, afraid that the illness would taint the results.  After 6 weeks I decided I had to go into the doctor.  My doctor was unavailable so I was scheduled to see Dr. G.  The Friday before my appointment I began having terrible pain like a vice was wrapped around my ribs and being squeezed   The pain shot up my back, neck and into my jaw.  It would sometimes run down my arms.  I suffered all weekend and then went to see the doctor.  She acknowledged my fever and rapid heartbeat.  Then she looked at my chart and saw that I have cancer.  She then shook her head at me and said "This is just cancer, there is nothing I can do for you."  I told her my whole family has had the flu.  She still insisted that it was only cancer.  She asked me if my house was clean or dirty.  "Dirty" I said, I've been sick for 7 weeks.  She told me my stomach problems were a result of stress due to cancer and I should take an antacid and get a maid.  She told me the fever, heart rate, aches and chills were just cancer and that there was nothing she could do for me.  I told her that if that was the case my whole family has cancer.  She sent me home with that advice and asked me to get my labs done.  She added on a few new ones like a thyroid test that I was sure I didn't need.

One Treatment Leads To Another

I went and got my labs done and they came back showing that my cancer markers continued to rise.  It also showed that I was anemic.  I began taking garlic and herbs for my flu and added in iron and other vitamins to try to help the anemia.  The pain had stopped and I was feeling a little better.  Then on the next Friday the pain started again.  I decided to semi-listen to Dr. G and take an antacid to see if it helped.  All I had was children's Maalox so I took it and it seemed to lessen the pain.  I guess I had taken too many pain pills during the flu and destroyed my stomach.  On Saturday morning I went to the store and picked up some prilosec and took it for the next 14 days.  That took the pain away and I began to feel like the Phoenix rising from the ashes.  I really felt good!  I thought I've done it!  But one thing leads to another and I began to develop a urinary tract infection.  I thought "I know how to deal with this!"  I started taking cranberry capsules, juice and drinking large amounts of water.  I also took an over the counter medication.  But unlike in the past nothing worked.  I found myself calling the doctor.  Mine again was out and they set me up with Dr. C.  I thought anyone but Dr. G please.  I went into my appointment that same day and Dr. C had left for the day.  There was a mix up on the schedule.  Who could see me?  Non other than Dr. G.  At least she ran a test so she could see it wasn't cancer.  She said it was very bad and was afraid it would get into my kidneys.  She gave me a strong antibiotic and told me I couldn't take any supplements while on it.  The druggist told me not to drive as it would make me dizzy.  I only had to take it for 3 days.  So I had a dizzy Easter Sunday but it was a nice one.  

Whats Next

Now you would think my troubles were over but from that came a slight yeast issue.  I was able to take care of it with probiotics.  My UTI started to come back so I drank lots of pure cranberry juice.  This time it went away.  I still felt week and started getting achy all over.  I was hoping that my red blood count had gone up.  I went for new labs.  They have just came back and while my cancer markers have once again started going down I have become more anemic.  My red blood cells continue to drop along with my Hemoglobin, hematocrit and neutrophil.  On the other hand my neutrophil bands are high and they now see nucleated RBC's in my blood.  My liver is also having issues again. Now that I can take my supplements again it will turn around.

What does all that mean?  It means that my bones are having trouble making enough red blood cells to move oxygen through my body.  I'm very anemic so I don't have a lot of energy and get out of breath often.  I haven't been able to exercise like I want to and have began using an oxygen bar to up my oxygen intake.  My white blood cells (neutrophil) are low.  

Hopefully I can find away to turn this around.  There are many situations that can cause this state.  Problems with the bone marrow such as Leukemia or Hemolytic anemia can be a cause.  While I'm not discounting my labs, they have not risen that high and I feel I can combat the situation.  A rare form of Hemolytic anemia runs in my family and I have already told my body that it cannot get that.  The treatment for it is in exact opposition to the treatments for cancer.  In cancer you try to raise the immune system and with Homiletic anemia you try to suppress the immune system.  

Time to Travel

So that is where I am at right now.  A little tired, week and achy.  However, my dear husband won a trip last year!  He has been patiently waiting to take me on it.  He planned it,  booked it  and it is coming up fast.  He so wants it to be a relaxing enjoyable trip.  So I'm going, and if the anemia means I have to lay around in the sun all day, I'll suffer through it!

We will be going to New Orleans and then on a seven day cruise.  It should be fun!
  So how can I stay healthy and eat right on my trip?  That was a big question for me!  No I can't do everything I do for myself at home and the ship wont let me take my juicer and organic veggies with me.  I am taking all my supplements and some meds in a handy little pack.  I also am taking some individual packs of amazing grass.  This can be mixed up with water and you have a green drink.  While not the same as fresh it will do for a few days.  I'm taking some instant organic oatmeal with flax,  I have some essential oils and a  small version of my bio mat.  Kris Carr who travels a lot has a little video presentation about traveling and keeping healthy.  Here is the link Quick and Easy Travel Tips!

P.S. I got a wheatgrass growing kit for Easter!  Can't wait to get back and start growing my own wheatgrass!

The yard sale went very well indeed!  

   I was just having a quiet yard sale in order to raise some funds.  It's also a great way to clean out my house! My good friend Carla, pushed me along and let other people know, I told my friends that live on my court because it was their idea in the first place.  Then the ward Relief Society Sisters found out about it and asked if I would let them have my yard sale as the months Relief Society project/meeting.  I was reluctant because I know that there are many other needy people in our ward.  They let me know how much they wanted to be a part of this and help. So I agreed.

   We all  know how it is when a bunch of Church Ladies sink their teeth into something? Well they did and stuff kept coming non-stop to my house.  My house and garage were over flowing and the women came and sorted and priced for two days, while other women baked goodies along with Crystal, Symber and their friends.  I missed my yoga classes but my body didn't know it with all the exercise I got.

  My little quiet garage sale became public property as one of the ladies contacted our little Natomas paper and it was put in the news.  Then another contacted Good Day Sacramento and they showed up with the news truck for a live interview!  Good Day Sacramento Clip My biggest regret with that is that I didn't have the presence of mind at that moment to thank everyone for all their hard work and generosity on my behalf.  So Thank You Everyone!!!

   I have to say people dropped off not only what they wanted to get rid of but their good stuff as well!  It was unmanageable!

   Even before the news, people were outside waiting at like 6am, then after the news they descended on us, we had a hard time getting everything out because of all the people.  Then they came and asked to see me-they told me of their family fighting with cancer and donated money, paid more than things were worth and asked for hugs from me.  This was friends, neighbors and strangers.

   It was overwhelming  and I had to go inside a few times to keep myself from shedding tears in front of everyone.  I kept thinking, "there are those more needy than me out there" and I know I was experiencing angels all around me.  I know no other way to express what happened but the ministering of angels!

   I can't say enough about the good people here, I hate to call the people that live by me neighbors because they are friends!  The women in my ward and stake are truly sisters! And the people in the community are so loving and giving!  Someone said to me that most people are generally good and giving, but I can't say enough about my community!  You are all so amazing!

    I don't know if I would have ever asked for donations of things or money.  I have always been very independent and try to work everything out on my own. That can be hard on the people around me.  I think that in these situations we learn so much more than we suffer. And we get to actually see how wonderful all the people around us are.  I am truly blessed to be surrounded with wonderful people!

   Both sides of my family have contributed what they can in donations to help me, that two has been amazing to me!  It has made it possible for me to do many alternative treatments and supplements while still provide my kids with school fees and lunch money and although we have cut back all of their needs have been met.  There were many donations and much overspending at the garage sale!  I'm still processing all of this!  I so want to give back to all of you!  One thing that I can do is to find a way to beat this cancer! I will keep up my blog and let you know what I'm doing and how things are going.  If you want to follow my journey my blog is curemycancernaturaly@blogspot.com.

 Those little girls made $60.00 selling hot coco and cookies.

   I now have my deductible, which is unbelievable and I will be able to do some of the alternative treatments!


   Just now my neighbor and friend came with some money from Tommy T's (comedy and dinner theater) they are donating $5 for anyone coming there that mentions my garage sale this last weekend and next weekend.

   Some items were put on craigslist and some on eBay, some were put back in my garage to sell on march 2nd, so I can't give you a total because as you see I don't have one yet.  But know that it has gone beyond my wildest expectations!  Thank you does not even cover it!  And yes I know that the men and children were also involved so me and my families gratitude extends to them as we'll!  In fact I had more than one child show me their stuff in the sale. : )

 Now the key is to put this money to good work!

Thank You!

 Love you all, you are truly angels!

 Jean

 I will be having one more garage sale on March 9th.  I would have posted this sooner but I have had a flu bug but am hopefully on the mend.  I haven't done labs or anything because I haven't felt like going out.  I will keep you posted on what and how I am doing.  Thanks again!

Trust, have faith, know the door is open, move through!

Jonathan Ellerby, PhD

Its a shiny New Year, 2013!  

The New Year celebration brought change for my family.  My two oldest attended a New Year's Eve dance with friends followed by IHOP and then games at my house until the wee hours of the morning. 
The younger 3 stayed and enjoyed our usual family fun with platters of finger foods, sparkling cider and poppers.  We enjoyed games a movie and lots of midnight screaming and laughter.  They were not the loudest in the neighborhood but tried to be.  I remember the days that my husband and I went out to dances or to hang out with friends on New Year's, then after having children it became a family celebration.

Moments of Change 

Just as a new year comes and goes as if we are starting a new chapter, our lives are filled with real moments of change.  They can happen at any time of the year.  Sometimes these moments are planed, while others are not.  Some are joyful, while others are an unexpected shock.  When those moments happen, we can choose to stand still and let life move around us, just caught up in the wave with little or no control over the outcome. On the other hand, we can choose to look at it as if we hit black ice and are caught in a skid.  As we start to slide, we must gently turn our steering wheel in the same direction, slow down by lifting our foot off the accelerator completely and head for areas of traction.  Like life, black ice is usually patchy, so if we are patient our life like our tires should find areas of traction. Rarely are our lives equipped with ABS brakes, we usually have to do the work for ourself or crash and burn.  If we end up going off the road we must try to steer into things that will cause the minimum amount of damage.  Then we can pick ourself up and continue our journey.

Early in 2012 my life hit the black ice and started skidding.  It was a year where I had to trust and have faith.  My family and I looked for doors, trusted our decisions and moved through them.  There have been lots of ups, downs, some loss, but lots of growth.  I have learned so much about health and about myself.  I have become closer to family and friends.  So I can't say that it's been a bad year, in fact some studies say that cancer is present in your body for up to 10 years before it forms a lump.  Looking at it like that it becomes a good year because I found it and could begin my fight. 

So as you go about your life don't allow others to set limitations on what you can accomplish.  Don't beat yourself up because you are not perfect all of the time.  Allow yourself to move forward, each step, whether its a crawl or a leap; it will help you reach a place that may seem beyond imagination from where you are standing.  I believe all things are possible!

I find that the one person who can put the most limitations on us is ourself.  Wouldn't it be great if we could wipe out doubt and fear?  If we can trust, have faith and step forward, we can and will do great things in 2013!

Update on me

I started diagnostic testing to see what progress I have made fighting the cancer.  I had 3 MRIs.  They came back a mixed bag.  The MRI of my lower back showed that all the original cancer lesions had reduced in size but there are a few new ones.  The MRI of my upper back (Thorasic) also showed that the original leasions have decreased in size.  However there are innumerable new leasions in this area.  It also showed that there are spots in my liver that could be cysts; they warranted further investigation.  The MRI of my breasts showed that the tumors have gotten smaller and the spot on my left breast is no longer there.  Yippee!!!

These tests led to an ultrasound on December 31st.  The ultra sound showed that I have several cysts in my liver and a spot in my kidney. That doesn't mean that there is cancer.   An MRI of the area has been suggested to ascertain the true nature of the problem and see if further treatment is necessary.

I had a sudden jump in my cancer markers along with bad test results on my kidney and liver.   The Doctors in Reno asked me to come back for another round of treatment.  Which is cost prohibitive for me.  No one knew why it had jumped.  I began doubling up on some supplements but the test results worsened.  Soon after I found out that one of my supplements (Protandim) had been recalled so I stopped taking it.  I went on a juice fast for seven days combined with cleanses.  I then went to only raw foods, fresh juice and cleanses.  I also began taking Kidney Tea.  My liver and kidney functions tested in the normal range.  However my cancer markers are higher than they have ever been and continued to rise. 

I found out that when my numbers went up and while they were rising I was on the recalled Protandim.  I called the company to get more details about the problem.  It seems a 3rd party suppler of turmeric had sold them product contaminated with carbon and iron.  Most likely carbon will cause no ill effects and as for the iron, it depends on what kind of iron and how large the dose.  While there is a correlation and a possibility, there is no conclusive evidence at this time that the Protandim caused my numbers to rise. 

Some people have stopped taking Protandim, and that is a shame, since I feel it has been very beneficial to me.  This week I received a new uncontaminated shipment of protandim. It's been a long time since I have taken any.   I'm taking it, and again will track my cancer markers and see if it has an effect.  I'm looking for results and will post them for you in a future blog!

So while I haven't had bad news, I'm not cancer free and I'm still left with lots of work to do this year. 

I hope for nothing but positive changes in the New Year and that goes for all of us.  I also know that  we can turn any situation upside down and make it for good, even if it is a hard one.  I want you to know that, in the words of my friend Erin Pressley, "You Can Do Hard Things"!

Thanks for all your support and prayers!
Happy New Year Everyone!

Never Morn The Death Of A Person That's Alive! And Until You Die LIVE!  

 Reverend Tammie Denyse

Loved what Reverend Tammie Denyse said!  So many people acted as if I had died when they heard my diagnosis.  I think that's why so many people hide that they have cancer.  We Want To Live, and To Live Joyfully!

A conversation with an eight year old.

The other day my son's friend was over for a play date and we had the following conversation:

The boys were working on a flag of California while I was doing dishes.  My son's friend looked up at me and made this statement, "I feel really sorry for you because you have cancer, and you are going to die."
Well what do you say to that?  I looked at him for a moment and then replied "Everyone dies, and we never know when it will happen."
"Yes," he said, "But I feel sorry for you because you have cancer and your going to die, and you haven't even lived a full life yet!"
About this time my nine year old spoke up--I'll never forget the stricken look on his face.  I wished I could wipe that look out of his eyes.  He tried to reassure his friend and himself, I think, by saying "She's taking a new medicine now and she's doing better." (That would be Protandim.)
I took over then and told him about two of my friends who have lost their husbands in tragic car accidents and again explained to him "Everyone dies sometime and no one, not even me, knows when it will be or what will be the cause of our death." I then asked him "What would you do if you knew you were going to die?"
He explained "I would tell my family and friends that I love them and I would travel and go places I want to go and do the things I want to do before I die."
"Well," I said "That is what we all should be doing right now, everyday of our life; we should let everyone know we love them, plan and do the things we want to do because we don't know what will happen tomorrow!"
Then he huffed out a breath and said "How do I get into these conversations with you!"
And I said "Because you told me you felt sorry for me, because I had cancer and was going to die." We let it go at that, and the boys went outside to play.

 It seems that the eight year olds are the ones that dare to have these types of conversations with me, but I think some older people think these things and keep it to themselves.

So I say to you:

If you are morning my death or some other "living soul"--get over it!  I'm not dead yet!  Don't you dare feel sorry for me! Let me live until I die!  And trust me, when it comes my time to die (and hopefully, it will be a long time in coming)  I will have lived MY full life.  The life that I have will be what I make it!  And I am grateful that it includes you!  So until I die I plan on living!  You are welcome to share the joy of this life with me but not my death, as it has not occurred yet!  I have faith that it will not happen until the Lord sees fit to call me home, and not a minuet sooner--so I will keep plugging along and being grateful for all that I have, all those that I love, and for each beautiful day.

So let me share with you some good news on the technology front.

Wow! A Thermogram Bra!
My sister shared this with me, and I just couldn't wait to share it with you!

Thermogram bra? This Smart Bra will be available in Europe next year and hopefully in the US sometime in 2014 pending FDA approval   The Bra has been shown to have an 92.1 level of accuracy in determining tumors and around 5 years earlier than a mammogram.  Mammograms are only about 70% accurate.  The Bra uses thermal technology to assess changes in the breast tissue, and it relays the information back to software that a doctor would have.  It is the creation of Fist Warning Systems out of Reno, Nevada.

This is a link to an article about a 45 year old women who was part of a clinical trial.  She had no signs of breast cancer but the bra showed otherwise.  She is now a cancer survivor and an advocate of The Smart Bra. Click on this link to read Lindsay's Story

 “The First Warning System is capable not only identifying breast tissue abnormalities at their earliest stages, but can also identify the general location of such abnormalities in three dimensions to each of the four quadrants of each breast,” said a release by Lifeline Biotechnologies, a medical technology company licensing the bra.

“It is, therefore, not intended as an additional step in the breast cancer screening process, but as an accurate identifier of early breast abnormalities which generate heat via the presence of new blood vessels that nourish the area in question.”

Read more: http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/health/2012/10/18/first-warning-systems-bra-detects-breast-cancer/#ixzz2BZfZpRe4

For any of you trying to get through the holidays fit and healthy, this is for you!

Holiday Tips

1)  Always go to a party full, that way you will not be as tempted to eat the things that are harmful to you. This works for those on a diet as well.

2)  Drink lots of water when you are at a party.  It will help keep you feeling full and you will be less likely to eat or drink something you will regret.

3) Take something yummy that you can eat, just in case you get tempted or start to feel deprived--a good tip for people on diets and that have food allergies.

4)  This year, choose to take care of yourself first every morning.  Then you will be better prepared to share and have more energy to put toward generosity and good cheer.

5)  Don't wait to do that little something extra for yourself, like taking yoga or zumba classes, a hike with friends or anything else you would like to do to rejuvenate your self.  We don't have to wait for the New Year to give to ourself.

6) Just Say No!  You don't have to do everything or go to every party!  You don't have to make the most exotic gifts or treats! After all, there must be a grocery store or bakery down the street.  The most important part of thanksgiving is to be thankful! The most important part of Christmas is the redemption!  And if you are not Christian, then I'm sure Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or whatever holiday you celebrate doesn't require you to give up your health and sanity.  Just say yes to what is reasonable for you.  Everyone will understand and if they don't, they are too taxing for you to be around anyway.

7) Make sure you have joyful time with family and friends   If it's stressful, make your excuses and go home, make some warm herbal tea or hot coco, relax by a fire, read a good book or take a nap!

Food Is Part Of The Season!

I thought I would share a few fun and healthy recipes.  Here's to a healthy, joyful and yummy holiday!

Fudge Balls (Living on Live Food by Alissa Cohen)
2 cups Dates pitted and soaked (dates have a high natural sugar content so you can substitute stevia or xylitol if you want it lower in sugar)
2 cups almond butter
1/2 cup carob powder (If you don't like the taste of carob use coco powder but you will get caffeine)

1) in a food processor, blend the dates to a smooth past
2) Add the remaining ingredients and process until smooth
3)Remove from processor and form into round balls.
They will keep for a long time in the refrigerator. (They are great when you have a sweet craving)

Guilt Free Sorbet (my own recipe)
Three to four cups frozen organic fruit of your choice (I get the frozen organic at Costco)
2 cups coconut milk ( you could use rice but coconut is richer)
1/2 cup xylitol
5 droppers of Stevia extract ( I like NOW brand the best, it has no bitter aftertaste  you could also use fresh leaves if you grow it)

Put all ingredients in a Vita-mix or similar appliance, mix until smooth and enjoy!

Here are some more fun and healthy recipe links!

Quinoa and Pistachio stuffed acorn squash recipe

Kale and Butternut Squash Salad Recipe

Healthy Recipes For Thanksgiving This site includes, A Butternut Root Vegetable Soup and a Criminal Chocolate Mouse Tart, YUM!

Pumpkin Spice Granola Not only for breakfast but a fun item to carry around and munch on. I would use raw unfiltered local honey over agave.  It's just plain better for you.  You could also come up with something else.  I'd love to hear your tips and recipes.

Crazy Sexy Thanksgiving  Kris Carr, who is a cancer thriver and has a radio show and is the author the New York Times best seller Crazy Sexy Kitchen, cookbook gives us some great recipes for
thanksgiving dinner at this link.

Pumpkin Banana Spice Smoothie Recipe.  How about this for breakfast.

My Test results
I am currently undergoing test to see where my cancer is at.  I have had two MRIs on my upper and lower back.  They came back with mixed results.  So let's start with the bad news; there are more cancer lesions on my back.  The good news is that my original lesions have gotten smaller and there are no bone fractures or tumors in the tissue.  I have another MRI scheduled at the end of the month, and then of course there will be a consult with my doctor.  I can report to you that I am feeling fine and have lots to celebrate this season of Thanksgiving.

Cancer-Free Day!

I find my self thinking, wouldn't it be nice to be cancer free for one day--a day when you don't have to think about what you do or eat, when no one asks you about your illness, no one gives you "that look"?   You know the one that I mean.  Sometimes it feels like I would have to run away and hide in a cave if I want to do that.  Well, I think if I work hard on my health this month and next I can have two "Cancer-Free Days!"

I now declare "Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day, Cancer Free Days!"  That means if you even mention cancer to me on those days, I will just look blankly at you and walk away.  If you call and mention cancer, you will suddenly wonder if you lost the connection   But better yet, don't mention it.  Deep inside I will know I have cancer but I will still have a piece of pumpkin pie and not feel the least bit guilty!  I will also prepare some delicious healthy dishes so good, no one, not even me, will know I'm not indulging myself!